Friday, January 22, 2010

Twidays: A Toy Story

Meadow, have you seen the new NECA dolls for New Moon? Edward's shirt comes complete with wonky nipple rip. And you can even buy the sparkling version!

Why? Why did they have to legitimize the freaky nipple f*ckery by putting it in a doll? And SPARKLING? Really? Are they trying to cash in on the popularity of the Vamp?

Did you notice how Twilight Little Edward was normal-size, but New Moon Little Edward looks like he's about to do the Hulk Smash? I swear, it's like the gave the doll steroids or something before hittin' the mold this time.

It's kinda freaky. He bugs me now. (But not enough to replace him with the weird sparkling ripped shirt one.)

You mean Beefcake Edward? Or really, Beefcake Ed, because he's not Edward when he has a fat neck - he's Ed. Or even Eddie.

He's Eddie the Neck. You don't want to owe Eddie the Neck a favor.

And, did you happen to notice who is missing from the new doll line-up? WHY isn't there a damn Emmett doll? *cries* I suppose I could always just take Fatneck Edward and pretend he's Emmett. I wonder if I can change his clothes? Does CafePress make doll clothes? I need a tee that says, "Emmett" so everyone will know who my doll is.

Especially since Fatneck Eddie is so sour looking. Emmett doesn't look that morose in a single movie. I get that Edward broods a lot, but would it KILL them to make a single "action figure" that doesn't look like he's about to throw himself into the dryer and end it all?

I know, right? Maybe I could paint a smile on my Lil Emmett. Okay, maybe I'm going too far. But how will everyone know who he is if he's not smiling?

I always wanted to learn how to knit. I can knit him a sweater a la Kemmett's Ski Lodge photoshoot.

You mean like this?

Yup, that's the one. Although I don't think I can get jeans that tight on over Fatneck Eddie's shoes...

You're not joking around? Because I am now imagining my Little Emmett - my own PERSONAL Little Emmett - and this MUST happen!

Well, I don't knit YET but I DO REALLY want to learn how so yes, Lil Emmett will be my first project.

*claps and jumps up and down* Oh would you? And a little knitted hat for his head?

Of course! Kemmett's head can't be cold.

Oh right, I will definitely need to keep his head warm. *snicker*

*giggling* Oh, thank GOD. I was afraid you were going to make a comment about how big I was going to have to make it to accomodate his, ahem, head.


  1. *pouts* I want them to make an Emmett doll too. Lets get a letter writing campaign started

  2. Worse than a 14-yr old boy w. a copy of Maxim, you two! Just Sick! ;) -Julia Gulia

  3. @JuliaGulia - what? Emmett is in Maxim? *wink* Hey- it's Twiday, which means we get to be self-indulgent! And that includes lusting after Kemmett. Well, for me at least. Smooches girl.

  4. Oh you girls! But really, I agree, why there is not an Emmett doll? They should have one for each Cullen, otherwise how our fans suppose to play? ;D
    Every once in a while, I'll admit, I look at my Barbie Edward thinking I'll take him out of the box and undress him!

  5. OMG you guys, I almost choked on my sandwich when I read the Hulk Smash part!!! Mainly because those were my exact words I used while describing 'Fatneck Eddie'! LMAO! Too funny! But yes, if they're gonna contiunue to make these dolls, why not just make them all? Now THAT would be fun.

  6. Oh Rain, please post a pic of Kemmett when Meadow gives him to you! I really would like to see that creation. *giggles*

  7. I have both Twi-E and NM-E and I end up always leaving NM-E at home because he looks like a big dumb jock (not a big happy jock w/ dimples like Kemmett). The sparkly wonky-nipple E scares me...he doesn't sweat, he glistens, but that's just gross. I don't want a sweaty Edward, esp w/ imperfect mipples.

  8. I am typing this while my Little Jasper sits in my pocket. He's so adorable and happy here with his human, Spank. You see, unlike Gaymett, Jasper was vital to the story of New Moon. Ahh... the bloodlust... the lust... the... Excuse me, I need to tend to something.

  9. "Eddie the Neck" - effing hilarious! And seriously, who do I need to throw sexual favors and/or copious amount of money at in order to get us some Kemmett action figures. Really, this is starting to get ridiculous. I need a smirking, dimpled, well-muscled, knitted sweater, tight jeans wearin' mini-Kellan with me at all times (preferably with removeable clothing).

    Oh and did we ever figure out the cause or get an explanation for the wonky nip? Aro took the purple nurple a bit too far? LMAO

  10. I just wanna know why Jasper's head is so huge.


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