Friday, February 12, 2010

Twiday: Edward + Bella = True Love

As I was trying to figure out a gift for my husband pondering the meaning of Valentine's Day, I wondered what Valentine's Day was like for Edward and Bella during the timeline of the Twilight series. Those musings became this:

An Edward and Bella Valentine Retrospective

February 14, 2005 - Valentine's Day

From Edward's Journal (What? You know he totally kept one.):
I hate this God-forsaken day more than words can describe. The insipid mental babble of the hormone-driven children around me makes me want to vomit blood. As if my years and years of listening to this drivel weren't bad enough, God himself created a silent human to tempt me. All these red paper hearts make me think of one thing: Bella's heart, pumping her delicious, mouthwatering, lavender-scented blood. I am such an evil demon! Why would I... Dammit! Jasper! I didn't NOT need to see that image. Can't you and Alice go get a hotel or something? Like you need a day to - Oh, dear LORD, Emmett! ANOTHER red thong? REALLY? At least I know I can count on Carlisle and Esme to be discreet about OHGODMAKETHEIMAGESSTOP!!! I'm going to go hunt. And spy on Bella. Yeeeeeees.

From Bella's Journal:
Forks sucks. Seriously. I can't believe I got some stupid e-Valentine from Mike Newton. Of a puppy. Dude needs to hook up with Jessica and then they'll BOTH leave me the hell alone. Not that I have any other options. It's either him or Edward, who obviously hates me. Asshat. Maybe I'll become a lesbian. No, Rosalie won't give me the time of day either. Dammit.

February 14, 2006 - Valentine's Day

From Edward's Journal:
Bella. Oh sweet, beautiful, chaste, Bella. Please, somewhere deep inside, know that I left because I love you as I have never loved another. I could not bear to be near you and see as the blush of life leaves your cheeks. One day, far far in the future, I will join you in death's sweet embrace. Until that day, be happy. Live full and happy and... Oh, who the hell am I kidding? Please, please, PLEASE become a nun. PLEASE.

From Bella's Journal:
Damn that Edward Cullen. I bet he's off somewhere having hot, lusty, vampire sex with someone less "breakable." At least Jacob got me candy. That, coupled with the fact that he didn't abandon me in the middle of a forest, makes me think I should give him a chance. I mean, if Edward is off getting his freak on, I should too. It's not like I'm going to become a nun or something. Plus, I think Jake's been working out. Hmmm...

February 14, 2007 - Valentine's Day

From Edward's Journal:
I cannot imagine a way that I could be happier. I have my sweet Bella, beside me for all of eternity. My dear Nessie is growing quickly and is just as beautiful and smart as her mother. Finally on Valentine's Day I have something to other than an image of Rosalie's ass in a red thong burned in my mind: Bella's.

From Bella's Journal:
A red thong? Really? Oh well. It's better than conversation hearts. Besides, I really like when he - Oh. OH! He's back for more. Uh, I'll catch up on the journal later. Like next year. Maybe.


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Love, Literary Style

A few weeks back, we promised a post about our favorite Happily Ever Afters, and I think it's high time we delivered.

Meadow and I were actually discussing this on chat and at the exact same moment we both typed our favorite HEA, which happened to be the same: Mr. Darcy! Who among us does not give a big dreamy *sigh* when you hear that name? Okay, Colin Firth might have something to do with it.

*sigh* I'm almost positive that Mr. Darcy elicited dreamy sighs long before Colin Firth played him. So, that is definitely our first HAE favorite. Meadow, care to elaborate?

What? Oh, sorry, I busy sighing dreamily at that picture.

I think part of the reason why Darcy and Elizabeth are a constant favorite is because they aren't perfect people but they are perfect for each other. It makes them so easy to relate to in that respect. None of us are perfect, but we still believe that there is a perfect love out there for us.

Well said Meadow. And sometimes the "happy" endings aren't really all that happy, but the best case scenario in terms of the protaganist. I'm thinking of GONE (it's very fresh in my head, obviously), Harry Potter, which we've discussed, and The Time Traveler's Wife. I absolutely adored that ending, even though it's a far cry from being a traditional HEA. Hmmm... I'm getting off track, aren't I?

A HAE that I really loved was the ending of the Mortal Instruments series. The great thing about this, however, is that Cassandra Clare is continuing the story in her next novel, and apparently, things aren't as "happy" as it might have seemed when MI ended. I'm excited to see how that plays out.

And, you know, it's really hard to talk about our favorite HEA without spoilers!

Well, I think people understand that we're not all about the spoiling. We won't say WHY these endings are happy. Happy is in the eye of the beholder, right?

True, but if I say that I loved the Happy Ending in a book, then that might give things away... And you know how I feel about spoilers.

Well, to keep from spoiling (and in honor of Valentine's Day), we'll just list our favorite couples.

Okay, but in order to protect our readers from spoilers, I'm going to use pseudonyms.

Oooh, it'll be like a game. One with no winner, no rules, and no prizes. So, not like a game at all. Anyway, carry on.

Favorite Couples:
Greta and Sol!
Jayson and Carrie!
Alex and Marcus!
Caleb and Janice!
Edward and Bella! (Oops! SPOILER! Real names on that one.)

*giggling* Dammit Rain! You were supposed to type Cedward and Stella! *mock exasperation* ANYWAY, what about:
Roger and Julia!
Barry and Jenny!
Don and Wermione!
Bella and Jasper! Oh, wait, that's fanfic...

Steven and Malena!
Herbie and Cait!
Evan and Lola!

Shookie and Will!
Shookie and Derrick!

Shookie and Minn!

Wow, Shookie's a ho. Wait, can I say that?

Why not? She is. Of course, I'd be a ho too around Derrick. And Minn. But not Will.

No, never Will. He's too much of a bussy.

*shaking with silent laughter* Can't breathe!

ANYWAY, who are your favorite literary couples? Feel free to use pseudonyms to protect the innocent - or the slow readers. *wink*

Monday, February 8, 2010

Reading Rainbow: The WAKE Series by Lisa McMann

I had planned to rec a different book this week, but I just finished GONE by Lisa McMann today, and I think you all need to read this series. Yesterday, I re-read FADE in anticipation of reading GONE, and then today I read GONE in five hours. Yes. It's that good.

If you've read WAKE and FADE, then I know you are going to read GONE, so I'm just going to talk about the series as a whole, for those who haven't read any of them yet. The basic premise is that the main character, Janie, is a "dream catcher." This means she gets sucked into dreams if she is near anyone who is asleep (and dreaming). The first book, WAKE, deals with her learning more about this power that she has, while the second deals with the repercussions. They're not good. At first, Janie can't control being sucked into dreams, and the effects it has on her physical self are scary, to say the least. The three books put together are the story of her coming to terms with her ability and how she can use it, or not. It's her choice in the end.

I love, love, love the writing style in these books. Its a stream-of-consciousness style, but it's done so amazing well that even the sentence, "Ethel hums," had an emotive effect on me. (Ethel is a car, by the way.) This is extremely effective in telling Janie's story, as she is basically on a journey of self-discovery and the short, but emotionally packed sentences force you to almost feel what Janie is feeling.

And, of course, there is a boy. I won't say much about Cabel, but he's a wonderfully written character - the kind of person you'd like to meet, and be friends with in real life. If I say too much, I'll have to have spoiler alerts, so I'll refrain.

These books aren't "easy" reads. Yes, they are "quick" reads, but only because you won't want to put them down. The writing style is very different, and may take a moment to get used to, but trust me when I say it's worth it. It's perfect for these stories and Lisa McMann masters it in this trilogy. I definitely recommend reading all three books in the WAKE series.

Read a review of GONE by Mundie Moms here and @katarinasmama's review at Page Turner's Blog here.