Twidays: Eclipsing Summit's Marketing

After all the strange merchandise that Summit came up with after New Moon (remember the Quileute packing tape?), I'm looking forward to seeing what they try to sell us for Eclipse. Maybe meadow-inspired shag rugs for our rooms? To recreate the meadow scenes?



I like the meadow rug. I'd probably buy one, and we can get a Manllow to go with it.





That's perfect! Maybe we should open our own Eclipse Etsy Shop? I'm sure we can come up with more... like gold bedding to recreate the Leg Hitch?





And the Manllow. To recreate the leg hitch. *wink*

Hmm, how about a space heater with the wolf pack on it? It can be part of a full line of camping gear. The tent will have silhouettes of Edward, Jacob, and Bella on the outside.


And an Edward Cullen sleeping bag to go with the Manllow. Oh sorry, I'm on the inside of the tent.





Don't we all wish.






Yes, actually, quite often.

Anyway... we could also have a full body-pillow Jacob to stuff inside the sleeping bags. For when you get cold.



We keep coming back to the Manllow. I almost feel bad that I mocked it. ALMOST.

Summit is SO not above whoring their actor's likenesses. I'm surprised there isn't already an officially licensed Jacob body pillow.


We could also sell dog beds to put outside of the tent. *still inside the tent*






*snort* I love it. Of course, I never was Team Jacob...

Other items: Ceremonial Third Wife Hunting Knives, lighters with "Burn the Pieces" engraved on them, and Quileute ace bandages. (Summit can use the same printing they used on the packing tape.) Oh, and how about some animal repellent spray? For when stray dogs get a little too friendly? *snicker*

So, did we forget anything? What would you like us to handcraft for you in our *fake* Etsy store?

Twidays: Two Arms to Hold You Tight

source: Regretsy

Is this what happens to you when you piss off the TwiCommunity? Like, is Edward Cullen's head in your bed the equivalent of a horses head?






I read Manllow as Manilow, which is scary enough. Unless, of course, you're Spank and have a weird fascination with Barry Manilow.







I'm pretty sure even then it's scary. It sounds like something that sings "Mandy" when you squeeze it.





*shudders, and not in a good way* But aside from that, I would shriek if I found this in my bed. This is worse than the Edward silhouette that you can put on your wall. To watch you ALL. THE. TIME.

And I particularly like this selling point from the designer:
"For all the twilight crazed lonely women in the world, Edward Cullen is finally here to be with you and only you." So, let me get this straight... if I'm lonely and crazy, this Manllow is for me? Perfect! I'm sure people will be lining up to buy this based on that sales pitch.


Honestly, as much as we mock this, the chick who came up with it is genius. I mean, sure we're all "ha ha ha that's so crazy" but you know she's going to make some serious BANK off of it.

Why just Manllows, though? What about a Womanllow? I'd totally snuggle up with Victoria. Think they'll stitch on a red wig?

Oooh, and then we could buy them for each other for Christmas, since we have a mutual #girlcrush on Victoria. And by Victoria, I mean Rachelle LeFevre. Not The Imposter Currently Playing Victoria. What? That is how I refer to Bryce Dallas Howard. Nothing personal, really.




Don't worry. They'll be firing her and hiring Shaun White to play Victoria in Breaking Dawn. It could work - he's acrobatic. They'll just have to pay him in Rob's old flannel.





Actually, that's a good idea.

Or it would be if Victoria weren't DEAD in Breaking Dawn. *sighs* Meadow, Meadow, Meadow. Is this what happens when you read too much fan-fiction? *snicker*



*glaring at Rain* You know, you're supposed to love and support me. Not point out to the world that my sleep-deprived mind completely forgot the ending of Eclipse. Besides, this is what happens when you read too much fanfic:

Or, maybe we just know who two of the seller's six sales went to... *grinning and ducking*