Twidays: What the Fugly?

Dayum. That is all intense and sh*t. Exciting. Scary even.






Oh, yeah, scary. The giant alligator from "Lake Placid" has nothin' on those vamps rising from the water.





*snort* Okay, so I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to scary.

But, I do need to ask one thing: Why the hell does Summit take good looking men and make them look like transvestites? Did you see Carlisle's hair? OMGAH.
Umm... But Jake does look damn good. God help me.


Why is Bella's engagement ring so damn fugly? Don't they take artistic license with that sh*t? I mean, sure Steph described a fugly ring. But they've changed so much else, why not that?





Totally fugly - I noticed that too! It's freaking huge, but not in a good way.






No wonder Bella said no the first time.






Bwahahaha!! Right? I would be all, "You need come back with something better than that monstrosity. For real." And no wonder she was embarrassed to wear it after she said yes!




She should slip him a brochure from Tiffany's.

How did Alice let him get away with that??




Well, it was supposed to be his mother's, but still. Tiffany & Co did originate the engagment ring back in the late 1800s, so they could have gone with a little blue box and still have been within historical guidelines.

But, you know what I think? I think every last one of Summit's stylists secretly HATE Twilight. This would explain the ugly wigs, the awful outfits, the ring...

Oh, so true! It's like a conspiracy to sabotage the visuals. "Oh, so you think Edward and Bella are romantic, huh? Well then, we'll make Jacob the only attractive character in the movie. So THERE!"




Exactly! It's quite obviously the only logical explanation. Because when they start making Edward look bad *cough*wonky nipple*cough*, you know something's going on.




Forget the wonky nipple, how about the fact that Edward was apparently 50 when he was turned? I mean, seriously, my DAD looks more lively than that.





Oh no. You're comparing Edward to your Dad? Now I know it's bad! I mean, nothing against your Dad or anything. *waves hi at Meadow's Dad*

What about you all? What did you think? Would you wear that ring?

Twidays: Scooby Dooby Doo!

The role of Rain will be played by her evil twin Train today. Why? Because Rain would never, ever say the things that Train is about to say. (At least not until June 30th when her bet with Spank is over and she can say whatever she wants. )

OMG. WHY didn't you tell me about the new Eclipse stills? Jasper's f*cking hair!!!

source

BWAHAHAHAHA! I think I had that hairstyle once.






I think my MOM had that hairstyle once.






They DO get that Jasper wasn't turned in 1976, right?






I'm thinking... No.

Apparently Summit's ever-so-hip fashion experts think he was turned when "Welcome Back Kotter" was the fashion standard.

Too bad it's not a full shot of Jasper. I'd love to see the bell-bottoms. *snicker*






*snort* With his earth-loving sandals? Or do you think that's more of a disco-shoe kind of hairstyle? *looks at the hair again* I can't help myself, I want to brush it.




*sigh* Poor Jasper. It's almost too bad to mock.






*raises eyebrow* Pardon me? It's PERFECT to mock. Who are you? Have you met you?





I said ALMOST. Sheesh. Cut me some slack, woman. But I'm going to mock it anyway. Because my grandmother had better hair than that.

Also, do you think he's hiding any Scooby Snacks on him? He looks like he should have the munchies.

Twidays: Eclipsing Summit's Marketing

After all the strange merchandise that Summit came up with after New Moon (remember the Quileute packing tape?), I'm looking forward to seeing what they try to sell us for Eclipse. Maybe meadow-inspired shag rugs for our rooms? To recreate the meadow scenes?



I like the meadow rug. I'd probably buy one, and we can get a Manllow to go with it.





That's perfect! Maybe we should open our own Eclipse Etsy Shop? I'm sure we can come up with more... like gold bedding to recreate the Leg Hitch?





And the Manllow. To recreate the leg hitch. *wink*

Hmm, how about a space heater with the wolf pack on it? It can be part of a full line of camping gear. The tent will have silhouettes of Edward, Jacob, and Bella on the outside.


And an Edward Cullen sleeping bag to go with the Manllow. Oh sorry, I'm on the inside of the tent.





Don't we all wish.






Yes, actually, quite often.

Anyway... we could also have a full body-pillow Jacob to stuff inside the sleeping bags. For when you get cold.



We keep coming back to the Manllow. I almost feel bad that I mocked it. ALMOST.

Summit is SO not above whoring their actor's likenesses. I'm surprised there isn't already an officially licensed Jacob body pillow.


We could also sell dog beds to put outside of the tent. *still inside the tent*






*snort* I love it. Of course, I never was Team Jacob...

Other items: Ceremonial Third Wife Hunting Knives, lighters with "Burn the Pieces" engraved on them, and Quileute ace bandages. (Summit can use the same printing they used on the packing tape.) Oh, and how about some animal repellent spray? For when stray dogs get a little too friendly? *snicker*

So, did we forget anything? What would you like us to handcraft for you in our *fake* Etsy store?

Twiday: Anticipating Eclipse

Okay, so obviously we must discuss the new Eclipse trailer.

I was fangirl squee-ing until 1:04 when The Imposter showed up. And then I threw up a little bit.



Totally. Couldn't they have used the money they saved by firing Rachelle and put it towards Bryce Dallas Howard's hair and makeup?





Well, that would be smart, but we all know how awful Suckmit is with hair and makeup. *cough* Bella's wig *cough*





I need to re-watch and do a "Shirtless Jake Count."

Oooh, when it comes that will totally be a drinking game - take a shot every time Jake shows up without a shirt.



Oh that's a good idea for the Eclipse DVD Release Party that I may or may not be planning already.





Or, take a shot every time Edward broods.






Another good idea! And you say you're no good at planning parties. Pshaw.






No, I'm just good at coming up with reasons to drink. Which is what I'm afraid this movie will make me want to do. I liked Eclipse for the sexual tension, but I spent most of it wanting to slap Bella.




I do have to say that I'm really hoping to see more Happy Edward in Eclipse. I mean - he's got the girl - he should smile a bit more than the first two movies right? You know the cocky-smirky-smile he gets when he's looking at Bella? Because he loves her and then I pretend he's cocky-smirky-smiling at me.....

Oh, why do I set myself up for disappointment? *leans back and throws my hand across my brow*

Yeah, I doubt you're gonna get a lot of that. Do you even remember Eclipse?

Bella: "Oh, Edward, I want you to take me!"
Edward: "Take you where? On a walk? It's raining..."
Bella: **unbuttons shirt** "No, Edward. TAKE ME."
Edward: **clears throat** "Um, Bella, a chaste young woman such as you..."
ENTER JACOB
Jacob: "So, Bella, you wanna go for a ride on my bike?
IfyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo."
Edward: "Dear mother of GOD what is wrong with you teenagers??"

**hands Rain a kerchief and readies smelling salts** My bets are on Broodward.

*takes kerchief* Why, thank you Meadow.






Anytime, Fair Rain. Do you need to go sit on a settee and fan yourself while I finish this post?





Yes, please do finish. And bring me my mint julep when you're done.






*snicker* You're such a delicate flower. Edward would tell you to unlace your corset and rest. Just not around him. Because that would be suggestive.





Okay, but seriously, I worry about my favorite scenes! What if they cut the tent scene?





Oh, Summit wouldn't cut the tent scene! It's all about Jacob, whom they love.






Right - and he's shirtless.






*takes shot*

Oh, wait, you just mentioned it. Does that count?




It counts! *cheers*

Okay guys, so what do you think? Did you love the trailer? Did it make you excited or worried like Rain? Let us know!